Friday, September 9, 2011

Why Can't I Keep Up with This!!!

I really wanted to give a voice to my diabulimia. It's something that I have struggled with and am still unable to fully understand.  I want people to read this and see a part of my world, and one day I hope to share this blog with people that I know.

Yes, I have not shown people that I know in the "real world."  I don't really know why.  Well then again I do.  I don't want everyone to know everything that I go through just yet.  Certainly not my co-workers.  Without "real-world" people reading this I can post honestly without worrying about hurting feelings.  A lot of new feelings and emotions have come up on my road of recovery and I know that I need to come face to face with them.

Some may wonder... if I wish to remain anonymous why post my real name and picture... my answer is that I guess if this blog gets stumbled upon by someone I know than it's okay.  It would be more okay to me than if I just posted a link and told people to read it.  I don't want to force this upon people. I want people to read it because they are interested in what this life is and has been like.

It makes me ask myself why I don't write blogs almost daily.  It's not because of the time and it's not because I don't like to write.  In fact, I love to write.  I suppose it's possible that I am afraid of spilling everything.  I promised myself that's what I was going to do.  Perhaps I am more ashamed of things that have happened to me than I thought.

I know I need to stay more committed to this.  In a way, it's just as much a part of my treatment as going to therapy is.  Bare with me readers.