I really wanted to give a voice to my diabulimia. It's something that I have struggled with and am still unable to fully understand. I want people to read this and see a part of my world, and one day I hope to share this blog with people that I know.
Yes, I have not shown people that I know in the "real world." I don't really know why. Well then again I do. I don't want everyone to know everything that I go through just yet. Certainly not my co-workers. Without "real-world" people reading this I can post honestly without worrying about hurting feelings. A lot of new feelings and emotions have come up on my road of recovery and I know that I need to come face to face with them.
Some may wonder... if I wish to remain anonymous why post my real name and picture... my answer is that I guess if this blog gets stumbled upon by someone I know than it's okay. It would be more okay to me than if I just posted a link and told people to read it. I don't want to force this upon people. I want people to read it because they are interested in what this life is and has been like.
It makes me ask myself why I don't write blogs almost daily. It's not because of the time and it's not because I don't like to write. In fact, I love to write. I suppose it's possible that I am afraid of spilling everything. I promised myself that's what I was going to do. Perhaps I am more ashamed of things that have happened to me than I thought.
I know I need to stay more committed to this. In a way, it's just as much a part of my treatment as going to therapy is. Bare with me readers.